When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand
and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate
quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her
know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic
calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked
me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She
threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a man!"
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could
hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a
lovely girl named Drew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement that stated
she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She
glanced at it, then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten
years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her
wasted time, resources and energy, but I could not take back what I
had said, for I loved Drew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had
expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The
idea of divorce, which had obsessed me for several weeks, seemed to
be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to
sleep and fell asleep very fast, because I was tired after an
eventful day with Drew. When I woke up, she was still there at the
table, writing. I just did not care, so I turned over and was asleep
again.
In the morning, she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time, and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that, everyday for the month's duration, I carry her
out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was
going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable, I accepted her odd
request. I told Drew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed
loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she applies,
she has to face the divorce," she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention
was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day,
we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.
From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over
ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly,
don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus
to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on
my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that
I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized
she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her
hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a
minute, I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to
me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I didn't tell Drew about this. It became easier to
carry my wife, as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout
made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my
dresses have grown bigger." I suddenly realized she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly
it hit me: she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at
the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing
his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of
his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my
mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from
the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it
was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to
school. I held her tightly and said, "I hadn't noticed that our life
lacked intimacy."
I drove to office and jumped out of the car swiftly without locking
the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind. I
walked upstairs. Drew opened the door, and I said to her, "Sorry, Drew,
I do not want the divorce anymore."
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. "Do you have
a fever?" She asked.
I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Drew," I said, "I won't divorce.
My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value
the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any
more. Now I realized that, since I carried her into my home on our
wedding day, I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart."
Drew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap, then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At
the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my
wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote: "I'll carry you out every morning until deaths does us apart."
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank
balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse's friend, and do those little things
for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do,
you just might save a marriage.
